BEST SURPRISE EVER!!!!!!!!!

Tonight is a night that will personally always be one of my favorite nights!  My sweet Steven has asked me to be his wife forever, for time and all eternity, and I have said yes!  People keep asking me for all of the details, so here we go.

Tonight started out like any other Monday night.  Steven, me, my best friend Amber, and his brother John, all got together to have Family Home Evening. (No, Amber and John are not dating.  I have been asked that more than once, so I wanted to set the record straight.)  The boys made dinner while Amber and I drove up to John's apartment.  The evening proceeded as usual. We had dinner, and then we were playing Apples to Apples for our game tonight.

My boss knew that Steven and I were getting close to getting engaged.  Today while I was driving to my FHE, I got a call from her, saying to buy a FHE treat. So, after we played a couple of rounds of Apples to Apples, we headed over to Rita's, to enjoy a treat. (Thanks again Kim!  We enjoyed our treat!)

After we got back, I had gotten a text from her, asking if it had happened.  I told her No, that it probably wouldn't happen tonight.

I showed Steven the text from her, and then my response.

Then he asked me, "Well, how about it?" Then he got down on one knee, and told me many wonderful things about me, us, our relationship, and how he wanted to have me by his side for the rest of forever.  What he said was so beautiful, that I don't feel comfortable sharing that part.

At that point, my mouth failed me, and I nodded my head profusely, and gave him a kiss.  I told him how much I loved him as well, and then Amber piped up, "Now put the ring on her finger!"

My ring is gorgeous!  I am so happy!  I don't know that I have ever been this happy in my entire life!  I can't even come up with the words to describe this happiness!

I am truly the luckiest girl in the world to have Steven in my life.  He is such a blessing to me.  I never thought someone would love me so much.  I didn't know it was possible.  I am grateful for everything that has happened to me in my life to lead to this moment!  Steven is the man of my dreams, and so much more that I didn't even realize I needed until I had him!  I am thankful for him every day!

All my love,
The Happiest Shae in Existence!!!!!!!

Soul Mates

So, over the years, I have contemplated the term, "soul mates". I don't know that I believe in them to be totally and completely honest.  I feel that it says that there is something out there that magically bonds you to another person, and you both magically know it.  Some people say that they don't stay with their soul mate, or the only crossed paths with them briefly, but they were still in a happy, loving relationship with another person.


Being where I am at now in my life, I can understand how someone could come to believe in them.  When two people love each other with the same intensity in a relationship, and both want to be in the relationship, and will do everything they can to make it work, they could believe they were with their soul mate.  Steve is so wonderful to me, and I have never felt like I have been better matched in a relationship, being totally and completely honest.

I know I have been in love more than once in my life, but each of them were different.  My favorite kind of being in love I have experienced so far, has been with Steve. I feel it is the most mature and the most complete.  People never forget their first love, and I experienced my first love 10 years ago.  We only dated a few months, and then we broke up for a number of reasons.  The next one was almost a desperate kind of love.  I remember that I didn't want to be alone at the time, so I kept convincing myself that I loved that person.  Then there was the love I had in my marriage, which was unconditional, but not returned at the same level.  He loved me to the best of his abilities, and I will always admire that about him.


The kind of love I have with Steve is probably the closest thing that I will ever find in my life to a soul mate.  I feel that we are equally matched in the level of commitment to our relationship, and to making it work.  We are both 2 people from different walks of life, so things aren't always easy.  I can be a basket case sometimes, and he calms me down in ways he doesn't even understand.  Sometimes I just need to hear his voice, and then I know everything is ok, and I can get through whatever bad moment or hard thing that is going on at the time.

So no, I still don't believe in soul mates.  But I do believe in mature relationships.  I will always endorse those! :)

All my love,
Shae

Blessings

Lately in my life, I have been feeling very blessed.  I have many reasons to feel this way, and so I try to make sure that the people in my life know how much I appreciate them, and feel blessed by them.

Recently, I was able to cut ties with my ex husband in a way that I thought I wouldn't be able to do for the next couple of years.  It is amazing the weight I have felt lifted off of me.  I guess he decided he wanted to be done with the arrangement we had made as much as I did. I don't hate my ex at all, but I know we both know how much better off we are without each other, and I wish him all the best in the rest of his life.

I am blessed with an amazing family.  They are so supportive, encouraging, and loving.  My parents are the epitome of how a marriage should be.  They still cuddle, and hold hands, and love spending time together.  They still have inside jokes, and laugh every day together.  They work well together, and are an amazing example to me.  

My younger brother is my buddy.  He has put up with me being his date to the movies for the last year, and I wouldn't trade a single one of those, and he didn't say a word when I was bawling watching Frozen with him. (Thanks again bro! Love ya!)

My brother and his sweet wife are a wonderful blessing to me as well.  Even though they are far away in Brazil, I miss them, love them, and they are still an example to me.  They have a good working marriage that deals with a lot of things most marriages don't have to, and I admire the fact that they can make it work so well. Their sweet boys are another wonderful blessing in my life.  They make me smile, and I am a very proud aunt!  Ask anyone that spends more than 10 minutes with me.  It is hard for me to not show off how sweet and adorable they are.

I am blessed with work!  I have 2 careers that I really enjoy!  I love the law office that I work for, and I love being a cosmetologist.  They both make me happy, and help me to feel like I am helping people in different ways.  They are both much more rewarding than I could ever dream!  It is a blessing in and of itself to look forward to going into work. 

I have some of the most amazing friends I could ever ask for.  Each one is an amazing blessing in and of themselves, and I don't have the time to write each of them down, and how they are a blessing to me.  They know who they are, and I will be better about sharing that with you personally! ;)

I am blessed, because I have a loving Heavenly Father, and I have a Savior. I am grateful every day for them both, and for my knowledge of them, and the Atonement.  I am blessed to know that They have a plan of happiness for each and every one of us if we will follow it. 

And last, but certainly not least, there is my amazing boyfriend, who is a blessing in my life every day.  He makes me laugh, he helps me calm down when I am freaking out about nothing, and he makes me feel special every single day. The last 2 months of my life have been truly amazing.  I look forward to many more laughs, good discussions, and fun times!  

Look for the blessings in your life.  You will be amazed at how many you find.  These that I have listed are only a few.  I have many, many more. 

All my love, 

Shae

Patience

So, over the last few weeks, the topic of patience keeps coming up at church related things. I thought about this a lot as I was sitting in my church meetings today.
Lately, I have been stressing unnecessarily for things that are to come in my future.  I was letting those stresses consume me and take over every part of me. I was getting so overwhelmed that my poor boyfriend has wondered what happened to his girlfriend.
Friday some of those stresses were helped in the opportunity I have for some full time work as a legal assistant for a law firm. I let myself relax, and my boyfriend was grateful that he had his girlfriend back.  I had been neurotic for seemingly no reason.
I realize now the reason why I was so stressed and so worried was because I was anxious over things that are far away still. I wasn't living in the moment and enjoying my life as I should be.
So clearly, patience is a virtue I have yet to master. I am still working on it. It is something I am realizing I need to work on better. 

All my love,
Shae

Words for the soul

So, about 2 years ago when I was facing my eating struggles, I read somewhere that it was good to write down quotes that inspire you.  Since then, I have become a quote JUNKIE!!  I have notebooks full of quotes.  I use them also as a journal, because the quotes I write down echo what is going on currently in my life, which is why they inspire me so much. I try to make my quote pages pretty, and my journal pages more plain, so that when you are easily thumbing through, you can quickly tell the difference between the pages.

Tonight as I spoke with one of my friends who is going through some rough stuff, I recommended that they do the same thing.  Doing this has been very therapeutic for me.  It helped me learn to have hope in a happy life again when I thought it was too far away.  I helped me gain some perspective of what I was going through in my life.  Lately I have been able to use this particular quote book as a help for others as they are going through things.
Writing it down is also better than just saving it.  It helps your mind retain it better. Find the words you can't express in a quote, and write it down.  I used this as my beacon of hope, to guide me through the dark days, and now I am helping others do the same thing.
Pinterest is a wonderful avenue in finding many quotes.  I also love to follow Matt Townsend (www.matttownsend.com) on his forms of social media.  His quotes are wonderful!  I follow him currently on facebook and instagram.  Find who inspires you, and find quotes by them, or through them.

All my love,
Shae

Can't Sleep

So, lately I have been stressing more about things in my life.  I stress more about my financial situation, I stress about other people in my life, I stress that I am going to be a burden to others, and so on and so forth.  I know waking up to an extra $200 taken from my account I wasn't expecting was a pleasant surprise this morning. (NOT!!)  That's probably part of why I can't sleep.  I feel defeated.

I think we all have these moments in life, where it feels like we will never meet our own expectations we set for ourselves. I know I hit that point today.  I work hard for everything I have in life.  I have an amazing supportive family who has been more than willing to help out when I had done everything I could, and still couldn't quite make it.  I don't want to have to rely on them. I have relied on them too much as it is.
When my ex and I decided to divorce, I thought it would be the best option to take on the debt, and have him pay his half of it to me, knowing that the payments would always be made. Little did I know the added stress it would bring into my life.  There wasn't a way to divide it up better, and I really wish there was. I feel like I am barely floating above water half of the time.
So, what I did, is I became proactive.  I went and got another job. (It is temporary for the time being, but I would truly love to stay on more permanently. I really like what I am doing.) I also started working at another place where I am busier doing cosmetology than my last place.  It is much closer to where I live, and I feel I have been busier and more successful there. I am hoping these changes will make a bigger impact in me being able to keep my head above water.
I worry that these stresses of mine will effect my current relationship.  He has said he is fine with the fact that I have this debt, but I don't want to burden him with it.  That's not fair to him. He is an amazing, responsible human being, and I never want the mistakes of my past to effect him, or us. I love him too much to do that to him.
I know a lot of this is coming out because I am tired and can't sleep, but I also know that I feel this more than I will voice.  Generally I keep this blog very positive, and about all of the good things going on in my life.  I guess it's time you see that my life isn't perfect.  It is really quite wonderfun 97% of the time, but I do have these moments, where I just feel overwhelmed and beaten down by my situation.
We are all human, and we can feel defeated by anything.  What I am going to go and do now, is rely on my Savior, to help me figure all of this out, at least to the point where I can get some decent sleep. I would much rather do that than binge on gross food that I know I don't need.

All my love,
Shae

Plan A

Today, I had the opportunity of attending a Women's Conference in my YSA Stake. It was such a beautiful message that all of the sisters had to share.  I felt impressed to share some of what I learned.

The first break out class I went to was taught by my bishop's wife. She is a wonderful lady, and I don't get many opportunities to listen to her truly teach, so I went to her class.  She talked about being patient with the Lord's timing. In our culture, we get a plan of what our lives are supposed to be like. The Lord can see our time line constantly, and knows exactly where we are going.  There are certain dates on The Lord's calendar, that will be special events in our lives.  If we do all that he asks of us, we will be prepared for those wonderful moments in our lives.  She gave us a list of questions towards the end, that were very thought provoking.  I enjoyed going through them and asking them pertaining to my life.

The second class I went to was taught by author Emily Freeman.  This class was about Discovering our Diving Potential.  She used Peter as an example of where we can go, and how we can discover who we are at the point we are at in life.  It was truly a beautiful class.

We then closed with our keynote speaker, Laurel Christensen Day, who is a phenomenal woman.  She got married for the first time almost a year ago, and she is 42.  She talked about how she thought she had her "Plan A" for life planned out when she was 14.  Who she was going to marry, how many kids, etc.  By high school, she was on "Plan M" or whatever, and by college she was on "Plan Alpha, Mega, Whatever."  I think we as girls/women go through this process. As you can see, her initial, "Plan A" was not what God had in store for her.  Little did she know until about a year and a half ago, that she was on God's "Plan A" all along.  We are all still on "Plan A"!  It may not be in the time line we thought, or come to us in a way that we thought it would, but it is still "Plan A" because it is God's plan for us.

These lessons were important to me.  I truly needed to hear each and every one of them.

A year ago, I thought my "Plan A" was gone forever.  I needed that perspective in that meeting.  I know now, that I had to go through what I have been through to appreciate all of the good I have in my life.  I have a loving family, 2 wonderful jobs that I enjoy doing, and a man who loves me. "Plan A" is pretty awesome right now.  Life isn't always pretty and perfect, but it is still a glorious journey.

Remember, you are still in "Plan A"!  Be your best self, and be "actively waiting" for the results of your "Plan A."

All my love,
Shae