Can't Sleep

So, lately I have been stressing more about things in my life.  I stress more about my financial situation, I stress about other people in my life, I stress that I am going to be a burden to others, and so on and so forth.  I know waking up to an extra $200 taken from my account I wasn't expecting was a pleasant surprise this morning. (NOT!!)  That's probably part of why I can't sleep.  I feel defeated.

I think we all have these moments in life, where it feels like we will never meet our own expectations we set for ourselves. I know I hit that point today.  I work hard for everything I have in life.  I have an amazing supportive family who has been more than willing to help out when I had done everything I could, and still couldn't quite make it.  I don't want to have to rely on them. I have relied on them too much as it is.
When my ex and I decided to divorce, I thought it would be the best option to take on the debt, and have him pay his half of it to me, knowing that the payments would always be made. Little did I know the added stress it would bring into my life.  There wasn't a way to divide it up better, and I really wish there was. I feel like I am barely floating above water half of the time.
So, what I did, is I became proactive.  I went and got another job. (It is temporary for the time being, but I would truly love to stay on more permanently. I really like what I am doing.) I also started working at another place where I am busier doing cosmetology than my last place.  It is much closer to where I live, and I feel I have been busier and more successful there. I am hoping these changes will make a bigger impact in me being able to keep my head above water.
I worry that these stresses of mine will effect my current relationship.  He has said he is fine with the fact that I have this debt, but I don't want to burden him with it.  That's not fair to him. He is an amazing, responsible human being, and I never want the mistakes of my past to effect him, or us. I love him too much to do that to him.
I know a lot of this is coming out because I am tired and can't sleep, but I also know that I feel this more than I will voice.  Generally I keep this blog very positive, and about all of the good things going on in my life.  I guess it's time you see that my life isn't perfect.  It is really quite wonderfun 97% of the time, but I do have these moments, where I just feel overwhelmed and beaten down by my situation.
We are all human, and we can feel defeated by anything.  What I am going to go and do now, is rely on my Savior, to help me figure all of this out, at least to the point where I can get some decent sleep. I would much rather do that than binge on gross food that I know I don't need.

All my love,
Shae