Every single day I LOVE YOU more!

This last week, I picked up a wall hanging that says "Every single day I LOVE YOU more!" I didn't really know what this phrase meant until I married my best friend.
I have many people who are close to me in my life, but there are only a special few that see all of me. Steve is the person in my life that helped me realize that it is ok to be myself. Being me is a good thing. I am beautiful and intelligent. He broadens my horizons constantly, and he never gives up on me, even when I want to give up on myself.
Last night, I was upset over something, and he asked how he could help. I answered him honestly, saying "I don't know how to let you help." He told me that he didn't like that answer. He also told me that I can't let anyone else do his job. I didn't understand when he said it initially. He then said, "It's my job to make you feel things, not anyone else's job."
In that moment, I knew how loved I was by him, and that he wants me to be happy. He wants to be my partner. I've never quite experienced that. I don't think I will ever stop bragging about how lucky I got. He always will be one of the greatest blessings I have ever received. No, our life isn't perfect.  We still have things we are working through together, but I know for sure, that I don't want anyone else by my side for this journey we call life.
Today, I fell in love with my husband more.  I hope with all of my heart that it continues to deepen and I continue to fall for him all over again every day.
All my love,
Shae

Promptings

Almost a year ago, as I was visiting my family in Brazil, I felt a prompting to start writing the story of my first marriage. I spent the majority of one of the quiet days down there working on it. That night, I cried uncontrollably in the shower. I didn't understand why I was prompted to do something that put me on an emotional roller coaster. I put it off to the side, because I truly wasn't ready to go on that journey yet.
Recently, I have been getting that prompting again, that I need to write down my story. So last night, I started to write again. Steve sat by my side, encouraging me to write. As I sat and wrote, I learned that I am at a point now where I am ready to write it down. I don't have the strong emotions like I do now.
Why am I getting these promptings? I'm not sure. All I know is that I can't ignore them anymore, and that I am ready.

I know that any time that I receive a prompting in my life, there is a reason for it. Either I have something to learn from writing it down, or someone has something to learn from me writing it down. 

Whatever the reason, I am grateful for a husband that encourages me to pursue my promptings. I'm glad I get to do the same for him, and that we don't need to question why the other needs to do it. 

Time to write down my first adventure, and continue to share my new one. In doing so, I hope to inspire someone to take control of their own happiness, and know that they are worthy of living a full and happy life, no matter what they may think of themselves at the time.

All my love, 

Shae

God knows what he is doing.

It's funny how sometimes in life, we question God, and why he puts us through things in life. I know that I have had my moments where I have wondered the same thing. Why me? Why am I going through this? When will this be over for me?
It's equally funny when you get to a point in your life when you realize why you went through what you did. God knows what he is doing, and now I want to share a point in why I needed to have my first marriage.

Just before I got married a couple of weeks ago, I went and got my hair colored by my old boss. He had also been married once before he got married to his sweet wife. He refers to his first marriage as his "practice marriage."

I've been thinking about that a lot since then, and in all honesty, it's kind of true. I learned so much about what being a wife and partner is from my first marriage.  Had I not gone through what I did with my first husband, I would not know how to be a partner to Steve. I've learned a lot more about the give and take that real relationships entail. 

I've also learned that becoming and doormat to my husband is not how to be a good partner. Making sure my husband is happy is still important, but it's ok to voice my opinion. Steve has taught me to make decisions when it comes to little things. We take turns cooking dinner, picking where we are going out to dinner, etc. I never felt like I could make those kind of decisions with my first marriage, because we didn't like enough things in common. So, I thought the only way to go around that was to do what he wanted, and put my feelings aside. 

I have also learned that it's really ok to be myself, and to share when I have an insecurity with my partner.  I never felt like I could do that before. I felt like I had to be the strong, put together, provider in every way in my first marriage.  Steve doesn't let me do things alone, even though I could.  We choose every day to be together, and to be partners. It's pretty awesome, for lack of more eloquence.

I know now, that God always meant for me to be with Steven. I just had some things to learn before I was ready for this kind of a relationship. 

Trust him. It will always work out. To enjoy a "beautiful life" you need to be yourself, and trust that God knows what he's doing.

All my love,

Shae