Sometimes, personal growth is tough. Though when we are on the other side we appreciate it and understand it, it doesn't make it any easier. I have been pondering lately about the person I was 8 years ago when I was engaged to my first husband.
I am a completely different person now. I have grown in so many ways, and learned so many things. I love the person I am now, but I didn't love the person I was then. I thought that I just needed the love of another person, and life would magically work out. Wow! What a let down it was once I figured it out. I had to love myself before I could experience true love.
My first marriage taught me a lot about being a spouse, and knowing what I need to do to be a good spouse. The biggest thing is compromise. I am still trying to grow in this department right now. When my husband proposes a compromise, I become racked with guilt. I like to see him fully and completely happy. Knowing that he isn't is hard for me. I still have to find the middle ground.
Middle ground to me is the land where we are both happy with the decision. I am still going to try to find that. I have faith we will find it.
So, to myself 8 years ago, thank you for making the choices you did. You have grown, and learned to love yourself.
All my love,
Shae
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