The only time strep throat manifests itself, is when I am putting too much pressure on myself, or overworking myself. I think lately, I have been doing a bit of both of those.
When it comes to overworking myself, that is my choice. I really want to do well at my new job. It is so completely different than what I have done for years, that I feel like I have to come in, guns blazing, and make a good strong impression. There is this stigma with being a hairdresser, that a lot of people assume you are stupid. I am not stupid. I went into hair, because I enjoyed it, and I thought it would be great once I have my own family, to have something where I could completely control the schedule so I am there for my kids. That being said, I really love this new job, and I want to excel at it. Being the worrier that I am, I have been afraid of not catching on to things fast enough. The people I work with, and my boss reassure me that they are pleased, but I still will sometimes come in early, just to feel like I am getting things done soon enough.
I know that I stress, and put a lot of pressure on myself for many reasons. I want to make sure I am a good daughter, a good employee, that I am self sufficient, that I am a good partner for Steven, and much more. I know that I am stressing unnecessarily. Tonight, my friend Carrie reminded me that I need to breathe, and take some time for myself. I have been taking time for myself. I choose to spend most of that time with Steven, because he makes me happy, and I remain more calm in his presence. He doesn't put any pressure on me whatsoever. It's really nice.
I just need to take a chill pill, and relax a bit. Next weekend I will be in Idaho spending time with family. I think that will be a good break from everything where I can recharge. Plus, I can't go back to work until Friday, so tomorrow I'm going to read a book, and relax.
Lately, I have been looking at the little things that make me happy in life. There are many more that I ever realized. I'm going to share a few, so please indulge me a little on this, as a couple may come off as sappy.
MUSIC:
Music has always been wonderful to me, but lately, I can be in my car, and a song will come on the radio, and I can't stop smiling for one reason or another! Music is a powerful influence on our moods. I notice that when I keep my music upbeat and happy, I have better days!
SCRIPTURE STUDY:
I'm sure not all of my readers are religious, but I know that making sure that I study my scriptures has a profound effect on how I look at the world. It helps me keep an eternal perspective, which I need sometimes. It makes it easier for me to get through moments when I get frustrated with myself for one reason or another.
LAUGHTER:
I have laughed more in the last 6 months or so than I have in a very long time. I am letting the little things in life take over, and I laugh so much more. Just tonight, Steve was being silly as we were out with my younger brother to get some fun soda drinks from a local drink place. We were just standing in line. I didn't know the answer to something, and he came up with silly things to say. I love that little things like that happen on a very regular basis with Steve, or even a silly email. I know that there will be lots of laughs for the rest of forever with Steve in my life.
CAT CUDDLES:
Ok, I am also sure that not all of my readers are cat people. But I know that my cat makes me happy. He will come and yell at me with his whimpy meow, and then come cuddle with me, and it just warms my heart. I always feel better when he is near me. There are studies suggesting that having a cat (or other animals I am sure) can help you have lower stress and anxiety. I can get unnecessarily anxious sometimes, and he does help me calm down sometimes. Whether it is a distraction or just the fact that he wants attention and cuddles, it's working for me.
MY SWEETIE:
Yes, here comes the sappy train! There are so many little things that Steve does, and he doesn't even realize how cute they are. It makes me happy that he has chosen to share a life with me. I look forward to his messages, and seeing him as often as I can. Thanks for being in my life, and putting up with me, and making me laugh, and feel special and loved every day. I am so lucky to have you Steve.
PICTURES:
I love to take pictures. Not just of myself either. Yes, I am an avid selfie taker, but I know that there are many other beautiful things happening in my life that deserve the same attention! Steve is sweet, and even though he isn't much of a person who loves to be in pictures, he indulges me, and I love him more for that. Feeling down? Get outside and take some pictures. The trees are blooming, and life is GORGEOUS!!!!!!
So, I am a theater girl! I love plays and musicals, and have been in several over the course of my life. My favorite musical of all time is Les Miserables. When I tell people that, some of them are surprised. It is a sad story with a lot of death, and tortured souls. Let me tell you why it is my favorite.
It is a story about forgiveness and redemption.
For those who don't know the story, I will try to do a quick sum up.
The main character is Jean Valjean, a french man who stole a loaf of bread, ran from the law, and was in jail for 19 years. When he is released on Parole, his parole officer Javert lets him know that he (Javert) will always be there, waiting for him to make a mistake.
Because of the kindness of a priest, Jean Valjean creates a new identity, and completely changes his life. 10 years later he is the mayor of the town he lives in, Javert is the new Inspector, and doesn't notice him right away. One of the workers in Jean Valjean's warehouse gets thrown out on the streets, and becomes a prostitute to support her child, and becomes sick. Jean Valjean comes across her at one of her lowest points, rescues her and gets her to a hospital, but it is too late.
Jean Valjean collects her daughter, Cosette, from and innkeeper and his wife, and raises her on his own, all of this time on the run from Javert.
Cosette is grown, falls in love with a man headed of to fight for the French Revolution named Marius. Jean Valjean ends up fighting alongside Marius to protect him. In doing so, he has an opportunity to seek revenge on Javert. Instead, Jean lets him go. While Jean is carrying Marius to safety, he is confronted by Javert, and Javert lets him go, because he sees all the good Jean has done in his life for others. He doesn't know what to do with that information.
The play closes with Jean Valjean's death, and him being taken up to heaven by Cosette's mother, Fontine, and the kind priest.
That is a very summarized version of the story, but we see how the kindness of one man, changed that man into a person who could help save so many other people in one form or another. We have no idea of the impact we have on people's lives, and this musical is a wonderful reminder of that. The music is beautiful, an the story powerful!
Embrace your awesomeness! Change people's lives for good! Know that you are amazing, and powerful, and wonderful! I am grateful for the many people that have come into my life and changed mine for the better!
I am going to close this post with a video of Jean Valjean's prayer to save Marius at one point while they are in battle. This version is sung by the amazing Alfie Boe! Enjoy!
