Change is good... right??

Lately in life, there have been a lot of changes. We are moving, I am going to be going back to full time work in June, and our whole balance in life is shifting. It's really overwhelming to me most of the time. It's funny, because 5 years ago, this wouldn't have phased me at all like it is now. I get much more anxious than I used to, and that is in turn, effecting my ability to deal with changes.
At the beginning of this year, I was going to conquer my weight. As the year has gone on, that goal has been put to the side, due to the other major changes going on. Because of that, I have officially reached my highest weight to date, and I am devastated. I never dreamed I would see that number on the scale standing there. I didn't think I was doing so bad. Once I saw that number, I realized that my once healthy habits, have all flown out the window. I want to do nothing more than sit in a corner and cry about it. I've spent more time crying about it than I want to admit.
Today, I painted over the accent walls that I had painted in our little one bedroom apartment to help it feel like home. Now they are white, and I started crying when I saw it. Today, the fact that my entire world is changing hit me, and it overwhelmed me. All of the changes happening around me are a good thing, but they are still change.
The last time I was leaving an apartment to go to a home, was when I moved out of the apartment my ex husband and I had been living in, and moved home with my parents. I have to wonder if that is the bigger source of my anxiety. I didn't feel any of that leaving my parents house to live with Steve, which I am very grateful for. Maybe it's just a delayed reaction. I don't know what to think or feel.
Everyone says change is good. I have to trust in them. I also need to find a way to change my habits when it comes to my health back to the healthy ones. Financially speaking, we are pretty skint for the next couple of months until we find out where all of the bills are going to land, but I need to make some changes now, or I am going to drive myself crazy. Time to figure out some things.
Thanks for reading this. Sometimes I just need to blog for perspective.
All my love,
Shae