Motherhood

This week has been focused so much on moms, that I felt I needed to take a moment and post about motherhood.
Motherhood is a divine role, that I feel God intended all women to have. Not everyone is blessed enough to have a child of their own. For those who aren't, they make the best aunts, step-moms, and what I like to call "bonus moms".
I couldn't make this post without talking about a few people in particular.
First, let's start with the mothers of my parents.
Grandma E. is almost 92, and one of my many heroes. She put her dukes up to my hubby when they first met, because she is so protective of me. She makes me smile every time I see her. She takes funny selfies with me, and I am so blessed to get to have her as my grandmother.

Grandma B. is a trooper!  She is a strong woman, and I am glad that I get to be her granddaughter. She is independent, and will always be stronger than she thinks she is. I've learned a lot from her, and I look forward to learning more. I hope with all of my heart that my kids will get to meet these 2 wonderful women, as their husbands have passed.
Aunt Janet is one of my bonus moms. She was my resident nurse, and I can still call her anytime. She never gave birth to a daughter, so I got the blessing of feeling like her daughter. She is such an amazing person, and I love and miss her terribly now that she is away.
I start to get tears in my eyes when I think about my sweet mom. She is such an admirable woman. She is hard working, and loves more deeply than someone could possibly imagine until they spend about 10 minutes with her. She is beautiful, and I love that I look like her. She travels the world, and takes silly pictures, just for her hubby and kids. I love when I get some alone time with her. I always learn so much, and she has amazing taste! I will always be grateful to have a mother that loves me so much, no matter what mistakes I have made. I know that I have had my times in my life where I didn't consider her feelings, and I will always try to make that up to her. She has always protected me, but loved me despite bad decisions. I only hope that I can grow into half the woman that she is, because then I would be doing pretty good.

I am grateful to my sister in law Kimie, who is such a good mommy to my nephews. I am grateful for my sister in law Meagan, who does her best to raise 2 step-sons, and is now finally pregnant with her first boy! I am grateful for my sweet friends, who let me be a bonus aunt to their kids. With my nephews so far away, I don't get many opportunities to spend time with little ones. I am grateful to Carrie, Kristin, and Patty, who let me feel like part of their family, and that I have some extra nieces and nephews.
I have yet to have the opportunity to be a mother to my own children. Being a newlywed, sometimes people forget that I was previously married, so when I have tender feelings about not being pregnant, or not having a child, they forget that I spent 5 years as a married woman, 3 1/2 of those years trying to get pregnant, and start my forever family. There has been an article floating around about "The Woman at the Back", which is one woman's story of infertility, and not being able to be a mother to her own children, but how she was able to find her peace with that. I have been the woman at the back now for more than 4 years, and Mother's Day is always a tough day, especially at church. I don't want to take away from the amazing blessing that Motherhood is. Being entrusted by our Heavenly Father to raise a child is a huge, and wonderful responsibility. I know that being a mother isn't always easy, but I know that every minute of it will be worth it if I am ever blessed enough to get that chance.

Motherhood is a wonderful gift. For all of you moms reading this, I am grateful for you and the wonderful children you are raising. I am also envious of you, and hope to have the same chance.
I hope with all of my heart that you won't take this post as me complaining. I live a wonderful life. I just wanted to shed some light on my feelings.
All my love,
Shae