Tomorrow is the day we start the journey to start our family. We are meeting with a doctor, and I am starting to get nervous. My mind is drifting to all of the negative things I might hear tomorrow. I want to be excited. I want to be hopeful. I want this to work, and for us to know what steps to take. I don't want things to go bad tomorrow. I've been waiting for 6 weeks to get into this doctor, and I just want to go and know how to move forward.
Yes, I know I will get all of those answers tomorrow, and the road probably won't be as easy as either of us would want it to be. (Hubby was cute and hopeful for a honeymoon baby, which would mean that I would be nearing delivery by now.) I'm just thinking that the road is going to be even longer and harder than I already feel it might be.
Right now I am doing what my dad would call "living in the fear zone." We had a conversation about it this last weekend after an incident had me fearful of how people would react to me. I am letting the fear control me, and it is crippling my ability to think rationally. I know that I can't stay fearful, but I don't know how to pull myself away from it.
So, I messaged my mom on Facebook. The cute lady started sending me stickers up the wazoo, and telling me that most days she feels like she is 11 years old! I have to tell you, it put a smile on my face, and helped me think about something else for a minute.
It's show time tomorrow! I'm going to go over my questions one more time, and then maybe I will go and take a bath.
All my love,
Shae
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