The Results Are In

So, I went in and got the blood work done last Thursday to see what is going on exactly with my PCOS.  We needed to see if I was ovulating, and that is what this test was for.
I got the phone call from the office today. I am officially not ovulating. In the moment on the phone with the nurse, I was fine. I asked the follow up questions that I needed to, and hung up the phone. I was at work, and still working on a client at that time. I did great with that. I finished the haircut without getting emotional about it. I cleaned up my station after that, because it was the end of the day, chatted with a co-worker for a moment, and started to feel the swell of emotion coming on.
I went out to my car, and tried to call my husband. He was in a meeting and not able to answer. The tears started to spill over a little at that point. The next person to call, Mom. Once my mom got on the phone, my emotions began to overflow. She asked me how I was doing, and all I could say was that I felt broken. My body isn't doing something as basic as ovulating. I just felt broken. The emotions and tears continued to come out. I wrapped up the phone call with my mom, and started to drive home.
As I was driving home, I began to pray. I started by thanking my Heavenly Father for the many wonderful things that I have been blessed to have, especially my husband. I also thanked Him for giving me the knowledge of what is going on with my body. As I continued to pray, my heart ached for my kids that I know are in heaven, waiting to come down and be part of our family. I asked for the strength and courage to know what I needed to do, and to not hesitate to do it.
As I finished my prayer, my husband called, and I told him what was going on. He was immediately supportive of me, and concerned for how I was feeling and handling the situation. I got home, and took care of a couple things while I waited for his arrival.
Once he walked in the door, the first thing he did was come over, and hug me, and let me continue to cry. He reminded me that I wasn't broken, but this is just part of our journey. We haven't been married a year yet, and we could still be pregnant before we hit our 2 year anniversary at this point as long as things don't get too complicated.
So, where do I go from here you ask? Well, they want to start me on Chlomid, which is a medication to help me ovulate. This medication isn't covered by insurance, and neither are the ultrasounds that you regularly have while you are on it. We have decided it is best to spend the rest of this year focusing on lowering my weight, and getting healthier. Starting next year, we will begin this journey if I haven't started to ovulate on my own.
So for now, I just need cheerleaders, and people to help me keep healthy habits. Am I still sad? Of course. I'm sure I will still cry about this as this continues, but I know that I have my sweet hubby, that no matter what, loves me, and we can do this together!
Thanks for all of the love and support I have been receiving so far!  I hope you will continue to follow me on my weight loss journey and support me there. We will revisit this in January.
All my love,
Shae