I NEED TO SLOW DOWN!!!!!!

I have strep throat.

The only time strep throat manifests itself, is when I am putting too much pressure on myself, or overworking myself.  I think lately, I have been doing a bit of both of those.

When it comes to overworking myself, that is my choice.  I really want to do well at my new job.  It is so completely different than what I have done for years, that I feel like I have to come in, guns blazing, and make a good strong impression.  There is this stigma with being a hairdresser, that a lot of people assume you are stupid.  I am not stupid.  I went into hair, because I enjoyed it, and I thought it would be great once I have my own family, to have something where I could completely control the schedule so I am there for my kids.  That being said, I really love this new job, and I want to excel at it.  Being the worrier that I am, I have been afraid of not catching on to things fast enough.  The people I work with, and my boss reassure me that they are pleased, but I still will sometimes come in early, just to feel like I am getting things done soon enough.

I know that I stress, and put a lot of pressure on myself for many reasons.  I want to make sure I am a good daughter, a good employee, that I am self sufficient, that I am a good partner for Steven, and much more.  I know that I am stressing unnecessarily.  Tonight, my friend Carrie reminded me that I need to breathe, and take some time for myself. I have been taking time for myself.  I choose to spend most of that time with Steven, because he makes me happy, and I remain more calm in his presence.  He doesn't put any pressure on me whatsoever.  It's really nice.

I just need to take a chill pill, and relax a bit.  Next weekend I will be in Idaho spending time with family.  I think that will be a good break from everything where I can recharge.  Plus, I can't go back to work until Friday, so tomorrow I'm going to read a book, and relax.

The Little Things

Lately, I have been looking at the little things that make me happy in life.  There are many more that I ever realized.  I'm going to share a few, so please indulge me a little on this, as a couple may come off as sappy.

MUSIC:

Music has always been wonderful to me, but lately, I can be in my car, and a song will come on the radio, and I can't stop smiling for one reason or another! Music is a powerful influence on our moods.  I notice that when I keep my music upbeat and happy, I have better days!

SCRIPTURE STUDY:

I'm sure not all of my readers are religious, but I know that making sure that I study my scriptures has a profound effect on how I look at the world.  It helps me keep an eternal perspective, which I need sometimes.  It makes it easier for me to get through moments when I get frustrated with myself for one reason or another.

LAUGHTER:

I have laughed more in the last 6 months or so than I have in a very long time.  I am letting the little things in life take over, and I laugh so much more.  Just tonight, Steve was being silly as we were out with my younger brother to get some fun soda drinks from a local drink place.  We were just standing in line.  I didn't know the answer to something, and he came up with silly things to say. I love that little things like that happen on a very regular basis with Steve, or even a silly email.  I know that there will be lots of laughs for the rest of forever with Steve in my life.

CAT CUDDLES:

Ok, I am also sure that not all of my readers are cat people.  But I know that my cat makes me happy.  He will come and yell at me with his whimpy meow, and then come cuddle with me, and it just warms my heart.  I always feel better when he is near me. There are studies suggesting that having a cat (or other animals I am sure) can help you have lower stress and anxiety.  I can get unnecessarily anxious sometimes, and he does help me calm down sometimes. Whether it is a distraction or just the fact that he wants attention and cuddles, it's working for me.

MY SWEETIE:

Yes, here comes the sappy train!  There are so many little things that Steve does, and he doesn't even realize how cute they are.  It makes me happy that he has chosen to share a life with me.  I look forward to his messages, and seeing him as often as I can.  Thanks for being in my life, and putting up with me, and making me laugh, and feel special and loved every day.  I am so lucky to have you Steve.

PICTURES:

I love to take pictures.  Not just of myself either.  Yes, I am an avid selfie taker, but I know that there are many other beautiful things happening in my life that deserve the same attention! Steve is sweet, and even though he isn't much of a person who loves to be in pictures, he indulges me, and I love him more for that. Feeling down?  Get outside and take some pictures.  The trees are blooming, and life is GORGEOUS!!!!!!

What little things make you happy?

All my love,
Shae

Les Miserables

So, I am a theater girl!  I love plays and musicals, and have been in several over the course of my life.  My favorite musical of all time is Les Miserables.  When I tell people that, some of them are surprised.  It is a sad story with a lot of death, and tortured souls. Let me tell you why it is my favorite.

It is a story about forgiveness and redemption.

For those who don't know the story, I will try to do a quick sum up.

The main character is Jean Valjean, a french man who stole a loaf of bread, ran from the law, and was in jail for 19 years.  When he is released on Parole, his parole officer Javert lets him know that he (Javert) will always be there, waiting for him to make a mistake.
Because of the kindness of a priest, Jean Valjean creates a new identity, and completely changes his life. 10 years later he is the mayor of the town he lives in, Javert is the new Inspector, and doesn't notice him right away.  One of the workers in Jean Valjean's warehouse gets thrown out on the streets, and becomes a prostitute to support her child, and becomes sick.  Jean Valjean comes across her at one of her lowest points, rescues her and gets her to a hospital, but it is too late.
Jean Valjean collects her daughter, Cosette, from and innkeeper and his wife, and raises her on his own, all of this time on the run from Javert.
Cosette is grown, falls in love with a man headed of to fight for the French Revolution named Marius. Jean Valjean ends up fighting alongside Marius to protect him.  In doing so, he has an opportunity to seek revenge on Javert.  Instead, Jean lets him go. While Jean is carrying Marius to safety, he is confronted by Javert, and Javert lets him go, because he sees all the good Jean has done in his life for others.  He doesn't know what to do with that information.
The play closes with Jean Valjean's death, and him being taken up to heaven by Cosette's mother, Fontine, and the kind priest.

That is a very summarized version of the story, but we see how the kindness of one man, changed that man into a person who could help save so many other people in one form or another. We have no idea of the impact we have on people's lives, and this musical is a wonderful reminder of that.  The music is beautiful, an the story powerful!

Embrace your awesomeness!  Change people's lives for good!  Know that you are amazing, and powerful, and wonderful!  I am grateful for the many people that have come into my life and changed mine for the better!

I am going to close this post with a video of Jean Valjean's prayer to save Marius at one point while they are in battle. This version is sung by the amazing Alfie Boe!  Enjoy!

All my love,
Shae

BEST SURPRISE EVER!!!!!!!!!

Tonight is a night that will personally always be one of my favorite nights!  My sweet Steven has asked me to be his wife forever, for time and all eternity, and I have said yes!  People keep asking me for all of the details, so here we go.

Tonight started out like any other Monday night.  Steven, me, my best friend Amber, and his brother John, all got together to have Family Home Evening. (No, Amber and John are not dating.  I have been asked that more than once, so I wanted to set the record straight.)  The boys made dinner while Amber and I drove up to John's apartment.  The evening proceeded as usual. We had dinner, and then we were playing Apples to Apples for our game tonight.

My boss knew that Steven and I were getting close to getting engaged.  Today while I was driving to my FHE, I got a call from her, saying to buy a FHE treat. So, after we played a couple of rounds of Apples to Apples, we headed over to Rita's, to enjoy a treat. (Thanks again Kim!  We enjoyed our treat!)

After we got back, I had gotten a text from her, asking if it had happened.  I told her No, that it probably wouldn't happen tonight.

I showed Steven the text from her, and then my response.

Then he asked me, "Well, how about it?" Then he got down on one knee, and told me many wonderful things about me, us, our relationship, and how he wanted to have me by his side for the rest of forever.  What he said was so beautiful, that I don't feel comfortable sharing that part.

At that point, my mouth failed me, and I nodded my head profusely, and gave him a kiss.  I told him how much I loved him as well, and then Amber piped up, "Now put the ring on her finger!"

My ring is gorgeous!  I am so happy!  I don't know that I have ever been this happy in my entire life!  I can't even come up with the words to describe this happiness!

I am truly the luckiest girl in the world to have Steven in my life.  He is such a blessing to me.  I never thought someone would love me so much.  I didn't know it was possible.  I am grateful for everything that has happened to me in my life to lead to this moment!  Steven is the man of my dreams, and so much more that I didn't even realize I needed until I had him!  I am thankful for him every day!

All my love,
The Happiest Shae in Existence!!!!!!!

Soul Mates

So, over the years, I have contemplated the term, "soul mates". I don't know that I believe in them to be totally and completely honest.  I feel that it says that there is something out there that magically bonds you to another person, and you both magically know it.  Some people say that they don't stay with their soul mate, or the only crossed paths with them briefly, but they were still in a happy, loving relationship with another person.


Being where I am at now in my life, I can understand how someone could come to believe in them.  When two people love each other with the same intensity in a relationship, and both want to be in the relationship, and will do everything they can to make it work, they could believe they were with their soul mate.  Steve is so wonderful to me, and I have never felt like I have been better matched in a relationship, being totally and completely honest.

I know I have been in love more than once in my life, but each of them were different.  My favorite kind of being in love I have experienced so far, has been with Steve. I feel it is the most mature and the most complete.  People never forget their first love, and I experienced my first love 10 years ago.  We only dated a few months, and then we broke up for a number of reasons.  The next one was almost a desperate kind of love.  I remember that I didn't want to be alone at the time, so I kept convincing myself that I loved that person.  Then there was the love I had in my marriage, which was unconditional, but not returned at the same level.  He loved me to the best of his abilities, and I will always admire that about him.


The kind of love I have with Steve is probably the closest thing that I will ever find in my life to a soul mate.  I feel that we are equally matched in the level of commitment to our relationship, and to making it work.  We are both 2 people from different walks of life, so things aren't always easy.  I can be a basket case sometimes, and he calms me down in ways he doesn't even understand.  Sometimes I just need to hear his voice, and then I know everything is ok, and I can get through whatever bad moment or hard thing that is going on at the time.

So no, I still don't believe in soul mates.  But I do believe in mature relationships.  I will always endorse those! :)

All my love,
Shae

Blessings

Lately in my life, I have been feeling very blessed.  I have many reasons to feel this way, and so I try to make sure that the people in my life know how much I appreciate them, and feel blessed by them.

Recently, I was able to cut ties with my ex husband in a way that I thought I wouldn't be able to do for the next couple of years.  It is amazing the weight I have felt lifted off of me.  I guess he decided he wanted to be done with the arrangement we had made as much as I did. I don't hate my ex at all, but I know we both know how much better off we are without each other, and I wish him all the best in the rest of his life.

I am blessed with an amazing family.  They are so supportive, encouraging, and loving.  My parents are the epitome of how a marriage should be.  They still cuddle, and hold hands, and love spending time together.  They still have inside jokes, and laugh every day together.  They work well together, and are an amazing example to me.  

My younger brother is my buddy.  He has put up with me being his date to the movies for the last year, and I wouldn't trade a single one of those, and he didn't say a word when I was bawling watching Frozen with him. (Thanks again bro! Love ya!)

My brother and his sweet wife are a wonderful blessing to me as well.  Even though they are far away in Brazil, I miss them, love them, and they are still an example to me.  They have a good working marriage that deals with a lot of things most marriages don't have to, and I admire the fact that they can make it work so well. Their sweet boys are another wonderful blessing in my life.  They make me smile, and I am a very proud aunt!  Ask anyone that spends more than 10 minutes with me.  It is hard for me to not show off how sweet and adorable they are.

I am blessed with work!  I have 2 careers that I really enjoy!  I love the law office that I work for, and I love being a cosmetologist.  They both make me happy, and help me to feel like I am helping people in different ways.  They are both much more rewarding than I could ever dream!  It is a blessing in and of itself to look forward to going into work. 

I have some of the most amazing friends I could ever ask for.  Each one is an amazing blessing in and of themselves, and I don't have the time to write each of them down, and how they are a blessing to me.  They know who they are, and I will be better about sharing that with you personally! ;)

I am blessed, because I have a loving Heavenly Father, and I have a Savior. I am grateful every day for them both, and for my knowledge of them, and the Atonement.  I am blessed to know that They have a plan of happiness for each and every one of us if we will follow it. 

And last, but certainly not least, there is my amazing boyfriend, who is a blessing in my life every day.  He makes me laugh, he helps me calm down when I am freaking out about nothing, and he makes me feel special every single day. The last 2 months of my life have been truly amazing.  I look forward to many more laughs, good discussions, and fun times!  

Look for the blessings in your life.  You will be amazed at how many you find.  These that I have listed are only a few.  I have many, many more. 

All my love, 

Shae

Patience

So, over the last few weeks, the topic of patience keeps coming up at church related things. I thought about this a lot as I was sitting in my church meetings today.
Lately, I have been stressing unnecessarily for things that are to come in my future.  I was letting those stresses consume me and take over every part of me. I was getting so overwhelmed that my poor boyfriend has wondered what happened to his girlfriend.
Friday some of those stresses were helped in the opportunity I have for some full time work as a legal assistant for a law firm. I let myself relax, and my boyfriend was grateful that he had his girlfriend back.  I had been neurotic for seemingly no reason.
I realize now the reason why I was so stressed and so worried was because I was anxious over things that are far away still. I wasn't living in the moment and enjoying my life as I should be.
So clearly, patience is a virtue I have yet to master. I am still working on it. It is something I am realizing I need to work on better. 

All my love,
Shae