Kissing in the Rain

**WARNING!!! SAPPY POST AHEAD!!!**

Some of the most iconic romantic movies have a moment where your leading man and leading woman kiss in the rain. Some people look at this and think, "That looks uncomfortable" while others say, "That is so romantic"!  I am one of the latter, being a hopeless romantic most of the time.  When I think of kisses in the rain, the first move I think of is Breakfast at Tiffany's. This moment happens at the end of the movie, when Holly Golightly starts to discover who she is, and what she wants. She has misplaced her cat, and is looking for it in the rain storm.  She finds "Cat" and realizes she is in love with this man, and they kiss.  It is a wonderful, heartwarming moment, that is part of the reason why I adore Audrey Hepburn!

The next one I think of is Sweet Home Alabama.  Again, this moment happens at the end of the movie. She spends the whole movie thinking she wanted one thing, when in the end, she wanted something completely different.  I am starting to notice a pattern here... Are you?

There seems to be something about a woman discovering who she is again, and then experiencing a romantic kiss in the rain. Tonight, I was lucky enough to have that moment.  It was sweet, it was tender, and I felt like he and I were the only 2 people on the planet.  In that moment, it was just the two of us, and I am so grateful and so lucky to have him.  He is so special to me, and he makes me feel so special.  I feel loved and cherished more than I ever thought humanly possible.  Every day is a blessing with Steve in my life. 

I have a feeling these kind of moments will continue, because this isn't the first moment I have felt like this with him.  This is just the first one where we kissed in the rain, and it felt so romantic.

I love you Steve!  Thanks for putting up with silly me!

Shae

Excitement!

There are periods of time in our lives when things are exciting.  New friendship, new job, new relationship, school, new baby, whatever.  We all have those moments in life.  What happens when the initial excitement is over?  Does your attitude towards it change?

Today I spent some time with one of my dearest friends, Amber.  I remember being so excited to spend time with her when we first became friends.  As happens with most long lasting friendships, (or relationships) we have had our ups and downs over the years.  As time has passed, that initial excitement went away.  I don't feel my attitude towards my relationship with Amber ever changed.

While I was married, I didn't get to see her as much. I was focusing on nourishing (and trying to save) my marriage, while she was a single young woman who was still looking for her happily ever after. Since I split from my ex, I noticed that I became excited to spend time with her again, almost as much as when we were young.  She entered into a relationship, and wasn't able to spend as much time with me, because she was nourishing and cultivating (and trying to save) that relationship.  Today I got the feeling that she was excited to see me, almost as much as I was to see her.  She's an amazing person, and I love that we have been friends for 17 years.  We saw 2 ladies that were probably in their 70's when we were at the movie, and we both started laughing.  We feel that will be us in 40 or so years, still going to see silly movies together as long as we live in close proximity of each other.

What I am trying to articulate here, is that you don't have to lose the excitement.  Yes, sometimes the inital excitement will wear off, just because it is no longer new.  But when it comes down to it, it is about what we put into it. Life in general is as exciting as we want it to be. Keeping things positive, makes it easy to see how exciting life can be.

The term "YOLO" gets thrown around a lot these days, and sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to behave however they want to.  You Only Live Once (for those not in the know) can be used  constructively. It's a reminder that you will only live that day one time.  Why not make it fun, positive, and as exciting as you can? I know that in a small way, I live a YOLO lifestyle.  I rarely neglect my responsibilites, (I'm not perfect after all,) but I live every day to the fullest, and try to be as positive as I can.  Am I perfect at this every day? No.  There are some days, where it doesn't matter how hard you try, it's just not going to happen.  There will be days when it is easy to be excited, like Christmas, your birthday, or a vacation.  It's all part of this crazy journey we call life.

Do what you can to live an exciting life my friends!

All my love,
Shae

Noticeable Changes

So, lately in my life, people keep telling me that I look great, and some say better than I ever have. I hadn't taken much notice in that until now to be totally and completely honest.  My aunt made a comment on my Facebook recently that got me looking at who I am. 

I have never felt like the glamorous girl that all the guys want.  I'm a "bigger" girl, so I have never personally felt that way.  So, I got looking at my life, and what had changed in it.  The only thing that I can think of, is that I am happier than I have been in a VERY long time.  I almost forgot what this girl looks like.

So, I was reminded of this particular Audrey Hepburn quote.  More and more I am realizing that this is true.  I am happier, I am more confident, and I really feel beautiful most days.  I can't say that of every day, but I don't know a woman out there that can honestly say they feel that every day.  They may say it, but I don't know that they always feel it. 

As in my last post, I also think that I know better who I am now, and I am also with someone who is amazing, and understands that.  We are still learning about each other of course, but I also know that he knows me better that I know myself some days.  I love learning new things about myself, and new things that I like. So, to those out there who want to have a noticeable change in their countenance, find your happy place.  Learn more about who you are. Embrace your awesomeness!

So, even though I am not a stereotypical beauty, I am a beautiful woman, who deserves to live a full and happy life. I'm sad it has taken me this long to figure that out, but at the same time, I wouldn't change the journey I have had, because it would have altered me.  I don't know that I would be as grateful for the good in my life if I hadn't had to struggle for it. 

All my love, 

Shae

Being Shae Shae

So, for the first time in a really super long time, I feel like I know who I am.  I feel like I know what I need in my life to help me be happy. I feel like I have balance, and I feel extremely blessed to lead the life that I do every day.  Opportunities have been presented to me to make my life more sound financially.  I have less stress than I have in years, and I am genuinely happy.

It took me a while to learn who I was again after my divorce. I was lost, and I had given so much of myself away to my ex husband, that I didn't know who I was as a grown woman. Over the last year, I have made some great strides in doing so. I feel that anyone who goes through any sort of major life change faces this issue.

So, what I did, was I started to figure out the things that made me happiest.  I loved going out with my friends, going dancing, and just being me. I let loose a bit. I knew that my religion was a big part of my life that made me happy.  I served in my church calling, I worked a lot, and met lots of new people.  It's funny, because a lot of those people, I'm not that close to anymore.  The more time I spent with them, the more I realized that I wanted to surround my life with positive things and people.

The ones that I remained close with, I knew before when I was married.  I kept the people closest to me, and the people who kept me going.  The ones that were causing drama, and constantly dragging me down, I had to let them go.  It was a hard thing.  I had a post a while back about getting rid of toxic people in your life.  It's very true. Once I did that, I continued to do things that I enjoyed, and got involved in a Singles Ward, (which I never dreamed I would want to attend again,) and have made some new positive friends.

Another positive thing was my trip to Brazil.  I believe people should see the world as much as they dare. (I know some people fear flying, but you can see so many places by car!) Getting out of your regular routine is good. It helps you get reacquainted with who you are, and where your priorities really are.  So many of us get caught up in the hustle and bustle of work, that we lose ourselves in our work.  I really want to take a couple of trips this year if at all possible.

I also learned that I love getting lost in the stories of books. Books make me happy, and have let me know who I am, and who I am not.  I am not a Bella from Twilight. I am much more of an Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice.  I believe in manners, and in being treated with respect and dignity.  Thankfully I am blessed with my super amazing boyfriend who is everything I dreamed he could be, and so much more. I want to be independent, yes.  I have a hard time relying on other people sometimes, but I like to have someone at my side who will let me do that when I need to, and will also insist on helping.  That is one of the many things I love about Steve. He gets that part of me, and is supportive of it.

Essentially, I learned that I am not a bad person because my marriage didn't work out.  I learned that I am a wonderful, beautiful person who deserves to be loved and respected. Being Shae Shae is pretty darn amazing most days, and I am grateful for the journey that lead me to that discovery.

I hope everyone knows that they all deserve the same.

All my love,
Shae

Time to Overcome

Adversity is something that I have been thinking about lately. Adversity comes upon us all in many ways, shapes, and forms.
Recently Noelle Pikus-Pace won a silver medal in the Skeleton event at the Olympics. This woman is a wonderful example of surviving adversity.
8 years ago she was hit by a 4 man bobsled in a training accident. She thought her career was over before it ever even really started. Needless to say, she got back into the sport, and with the support of her family, won the silver medal, and did a happy dance on the podium. 

Whatever adversity may be your challenge in your life,  it can be overcome. I believe that we don't go through anything in our lives we couldn't handle. I have had various adversities cross my personal path, and I know that I am a better person now for going through those. I feel that we are given those adversities to help us learn and grow. We are meant to feel joy in this life.  How can we appreciate that joy if we don't have something to compare it to?

If you are in the middle of your adveristy, I feel for you. Don't give up hope. You can do it! You can overcome this adversity, and come out on the other side a better, more loving person. Know that you are loved by more people than you can possibly think of.
There was a moment in my teenage years that I was struggling with adversities. I was crying in my bedroom because I was so overwhelmed. I get a soft knock at the door, and my mom comes in. She has a roll of calculator paper, and a pen. She encouraged me to write down all of the people that love me, and to look at it any time I was feeling overwhelmed, unloved,  or any time that I was feeling down.

As you can see, I still have this calculator tape, and I keep a pen close by. It has been a wonderful tool for me over the years. Looking at the list now, I have no doubt that I am loved by the people in my life, which helps remind me how worthwhile I am.  Recently I have had this list grow longer. I feel that love from others even more because of what I have been through. I am grateful for the people in my life.
Like Noelle, we can all overcome adversity, and become our own role models for ourselves, or families,  and other people we may not even know.
I'm going to end this post with a song, and it is one of my favorites by Imagine Dragons.  It's called "It's Time"  Most of you know it, but truly listen to the lyrics.  It's about beginning again. About taking control of your life, and taking the initiative to make your dreams come true.

All my love,
Shae

Everything is Awesome!!!!!

WARNING: THIS SONG MAY GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD!!!!

Recently, I went and saw The Lego Movie with Steve. (Yes, we love animated movies!) As silly as this little movie is, and how catchy this song is, I learned something from it.  Everything is awesome when we let ourselves look for the awesomeness.  Everyone has bad things that happen to them in their lives.  Whether that be a divorce, death of a loved one, unemployment, whatever the case may be, we all have those moments when we can feel down.
The main character in this movie is an ordinary guy, living an ordinary life, following the instructions, and not feeling like he was noticed, amazing or special.  I know I have had those moments in my life, as I am sure most of you have as well.  As this movie goes on, he is given a mission to save them all from evil.  We also have these moments, where the bad is in our faces, and it is our job to rid us of it.
Sometimes, what makes us special is following the rules, and doing what we are supposed to, rather than going out and seeking to be different.  Why is routine and structure such a bad thing in our world now?  I have to say, that since I got a little more organized, and gained some more structure in my life, it has been much simpler and easy to enjoy.
We aren't always off on grand adventures and quests.  Sometimes it is just surviving every day that leads us to those awesome moments. But, if we are letting the bad consume us, how can we see the awesomeness?
I've noticed that over the last year, I have been continually told that people love my outlook on life, and my attitude towards my personal struggles and obstacles within it.  My parents were pretty phenomenal when they taught me that I should look for the good in my life.  I don't know what makes me different than other people.  I just seek the good.  It keeps my life positive, and happy in general.  Yes, I have bad days, and bad things happen to me.  That doesn't mean that I can't have the glass half full and keep the good things that happen my focus.
I encourage you all to look for the good in your life.  Then you can run around singing this silly song, and truly feeling like your life is awesome.  Because, EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!  Even the struggles we go through can be awesome by the time we are through them. (Generally, they don't feel awesome while we are going through them.  I would never say such a thing!) At the other end of the struggle, when you have the perspective, you can see the awesomeness that your life has become.

All my love,
Shae

"Being Divorced"

What does it mean to be "divorced"?

Does being divorced change how people look at me?

Will someone love me now that I am divorced?

These were questions that I asked myself the first few months after my ex and I weren't living together. I didn't have all of the answers then, but I feel I have some insight now.

Being divorced, I have now found a great number of people that I can relate to that I previously couldn't. I have made some wonderful new friends that I have things in common with now. I am a person that connects pretty deeply with the people that enter my life. I would personally never wish a divorce on anyone unless absolutely necessary in my eyes. It is an awful process and it is an emotional roller coaster like you never could dream until you go through it. Having people that have before you can help you through it. In the moment when I was so lost and didn't know what to do, or what I was feeling,  I would talk with these new friends, and they would help me find myself again. I can never thank those people enough.

I feel now that some people look at me differently now that I am divorced, but generally it's in a positive way. I have been told by multiple people that they hardly recognize me because my countenance has changed. I am happier, I and lighter, and I have a much more positive outlook on life. Some people will never like that I am divorced, and that is ok. The people I want in my life don't care, so that is what matters to me.

I was so scared that I would never find someone that could truly love me because I was divorced. I thought of myself as damaged goods. I thought everyone else would too. I found out while I was in Brazil that I wasn't damaged goods.  Not one bit. I was loved by my family,  and that was all I needed to love myself. I found out that someone could love me, and I deserved to be loved the way that my brother loves my sister in law, who is also divorced. Watching them for over 2 weeks gave me the hope that someone could love me.

I am truly lucky to be so loved, and today I feel lucky to be divorced.  Has it changed me? Yes. Am I glad it changed me? Heck Yes!! We all do hard things every day. My hard things were different than some people, but I am grateful for them now.  I'm in a better place in life than i have been in a long time.

All my love,
Shae