Being Shae Shae

So, for the first time in a really super long time, I feel like I know who I am.  I feel like I know what I need in my life to help me be happy. I feel like I have balance, and I feel extremely blessed to lead the life that I do every day.  Opportunities have been presented to me to make my life more sound financially.  I have less stress than I have in years, and I am genuinely happy.

It took me a while to learn who I was again after my divorce. I was lost, and I had given so much of myself away to my ex husband, that I didn't know who I was as a grown woman. Over the last year, I have made some great strides in doing so. I feel that anyone who goes through any sort of major life change faces this issue.

So, what I did, was I started to figure out the things that made me happiest.  I loved going out with my friends, going dancing, and just being me. I let loose a bit. I knew that my religion was a big part of my life that made me happy.  I served in my church calling, I worked a lot, and met lots of new people.  It's funny, because a lot of those people, I'm not that close to anymore.  The more time I spent with them, the more I realized that I wanted to surround my life with positive things and people.

The ones that I remained close with, I knew before when I was married.  I kept the people closest to me, and the people who kept me going.  The ones that were causing drama, and constantly dragging me down, I had to let them go.  It was a hard thing.  I had a post a while back about getting rid of toxic people in your life.  It's very true. Once I did that, I continued to do things that I enjoyed, and got involved in a Singles Ward, (which I never dreamed I would want to attend again,) and have made some new positive friends.

Another positive thing was my trip to Brazil.  I believe people should see the world as much as they dare. (I know some people fear flying, but you can see so many places by car!) Getting out of your regular routine is good. It helps you get reacquainted with who you are, and where your priorities really are.  So many of us get caught up in the hustle and bustle of work, that we lose ourselves in our work.  I really want to take a couple of trips this year if at all possible.

I also learned that I love getting lost in the stories of books. Books make me happy, and have let me know who I am, and who I am not.  I am not a Bella from Twilight. I am much more of an Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice.  I believe in manners, and in being treated with respect and dignity.  Thankfully I am blessed with my super amazing boyfriend who is everything I dreamed he could be, and so much more. I want to be independent, yes.  I have a hard time relying on other people sometimes, but I like to have someone at my side who will let me do that when I need to, and will also insist on helping.  That is one of the many things I love about Steve. He gets that part of me, and is supportive of it.

Essentially, I learned that I am not a bad person because my marriage didn't work out.  I learned that I am a wonderful, beautiful person who deserves to be loved and respected. Being Shae Shae is pretty darn amazing most days, and I am grateful for the journey that lead me to that discovery.

I hope everyone knows that they all deserve the same.

All my love,
Shae