"Being Divorced"

What does it mean to be "divorced"?

Does being divorced change how people look at me?

Will someone love me now that I am divorced?

These were questions that I asked myself the first few months after my ex and I weren't living together. I didn't have all of the answers then, but I feel I have some insight now.

Being divorced, I have now found a great number of people that I can relate to that I previously couldn't. I have made some wonderful new friends that I have things in common with now. I am a person that connects pretty deeply with the people that enter my life. I would personally never wish a divorce on anyone unless absolutely necessary in my eyes. It is an awful process and it is an emotional roller coaster like you never could dream until you go through it. Having people that have before you can help you through it. In the moment when I was so lost and didn't know what to do, or what I was feeling,  I would talk with these new friends, and they would help me find myself again. I can never thank those people enough.

I feel now that some people look at me differently now that I am divorced, but generally it's in a positive way. I have been told by multiple people that they hardly recognize me because my countenance has changed. I am happier, I and lighter, and I have a much more positive outlook on life. Some people will never like that I am divorced, and that is ok. The people I want in my life don't care, so that is what matters to me.

I was so scared that I would never find someone that could truly love me because I was divorced. I thought of myself as damaged goods. I thought everyone else would too. I found out while I was in Brazil that I wasn't damaged goods.  Not one bit. I was loved by my family,  and that was all I needed to love myself. I found out that someone could love me, and I deserved to be loved the way that my brother loves my sister in law, who is also divorced. Watching them for over 2 weeks gave me the hope that someone could love me.

I am truly lucky to be so loved, and today I feel lucky to be divorced.  Has it changed me? Yes. Am I glad it changed me? Heck Yes!! We all do hard things every day. My hard things were different than some people, but I am grateful for them now.  I'm in a better place in life than i have been in a long time.

All my love,
Shae