When I was 8, I was taking gymnastics from one of my friends mothers. The balance beam is about the width of a VHS tape (for those of us who remember what that looks like) and you had to spin, dance, and jump on it. In the beginning, I would fall off quite a bit. She had one close to the floor for us to learn on. Having tiny feet, I always felt like I did pretty well with this particular aspect of gymnastics. I wasn't perfect by any means, and I didn't pursue it to Olympic dreams. But, it helped me understand that I was strong in my own way, and that if you don't keep your balance, you fall off.
I feel like that is what happened in my life. I fell off my balance beam. My marriage began to crumble, and I didn't know how to get back on the same balance beam. I had to re-learn what balance meant in my life. I tried a couple of different times to get back on the balance beam, but I would fall off, or get pulled of by something/someone in my life.
So, I had to learn what balance felt like in my life. Once my marriage ended, and we were living apart, I started to learn what balance felt like. I was stronger in my religious habits, I wasn't as stressed in my work environment, and I was sleeping better. I am a woman who needs sleep, or I can be cranky, or say things that I shouldn't. I started also to take the time to do things that made me feel better, like read books, make cards, and watch silly shows.
I'm still learning what it means to be balanced in my life. Now that I am in my new relationship, we are both learning what that balance means within our relationship. We talk about our needs, wants, and desires in the relationship. We also talk about our fears sometimes. We need to do that, and keep that communication open. (See post below) We have been spending tons of time together lately, which is wonderful. We are just learning how to balance the time we spend together with our hobbies and likes. We are sharing in those more, and we will continue to do so.
I also am taking the time to enjoy my work, read books, go to movies, sing, and do the things that make me happy. Balance is an individualized thing. What balance feels like to me won't be the same thing for Steve, or anyone for that matter.
I love the quote I used at the top. We have to keep moving to stay balanced. Albert Einstein wasn't just smart, he was also wise. When we stop, and wallow in our miseries for too long, our life falls out of balance again. If we keep moving, then we keep our balance. I feel that I am a much more balance person, but I am still a work in progress. True change and growth doesn't happen overnight. It is step by step, line upon line.
If your life feels out of balance, or like you have fallen off your beam, take a look at your life, and see what you can do to create that balance back. It will take some time, and some soul searching. We all feel the pressure to be everything for the people in our lives, but part of balance is making sure we stay sane, and happy. You can't help others unless you help yourself. Don't be afraid of the journey to find balance. It is wonderful, and constant. The journey is half of the fun!
All my love,
Shae
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